Lip Sync

Placed on the couch was her reason for goodbye and her breaking heart. Placed infront of it, was the angel that sung her pain. Lets take deep breaths, put on a brave smile, and place our time in the Lords hands. Send a tearful prayer to the sky, cover our eyes for just a moment. Long enough to reflect on yesterdays. Move lips in motion with the song. what more can she do so he knows what he means? She's spent time on her knees, yelling her confused, unwilling sorrow. she's gone through the phases. Now she knows, this is just how it has to be. but what does that change? i don't think it could. hold on tight while you can, then be brave young girl, and know this goodbye, is just an 'I'll be seeing you'. and then you have to move on.

"And I'm gonna be, somewhat lonely. Cuz you know no one could ever fill your shoes. As iron sharpens iron, you have taught me how to be a stronger man, and I look forward to the day I learn again."

Helping Me Stand

A drive down a so familiar road. We could take it with our eyes closed. And this time, I do. I know you're there next to me, I can hear you're breathing. But I cannot open my eyes to look at you. I'm too afraid. I do not want to see me. Not in the rearview mirror. I feel you take my hand. That's when one tear finds it's way from the confusion in my heart, and down my face. I hear  your words but cannot quite comprehend. Your hand wraps tighter around mine. Then I understand. "Open your eyes. Be brave. Be beautiful. Cry. Then smile. To love is to hurt. But love never ends. Just the ideas of who you love." I can open my eyes. And look at you. Look ahead. Remember the rest. My darling friend, we drive on.

Shush

Some days... the noise overwhelms me as I try to go thru life not faded, un-jaded by the things that happen so abruptly, leaving me so untrusting. Can't take back a single part, of my heart. No matter how much it hurts, that it never works. The time in transition, leaves me wishing. Go back to the start, right before the part where I made my misguided reaction to our instant attraction and made the choice when I said in a passive voice... I'm yours.

Green Eyes Don't Cry

keep your green eyes to the ground. do not cry. when they speak, smile so pretty. isn't that what you've learned? Do not tell them of your sorrow. Do not tell your heart. and do not cry. the voice that has calmed and reasoned all that lays you down to sleep is distant, quiet, fading. and that's what we are. fading fragments of this colorful picture. A light dims in your eyes, but do not, please, do not cry. laughter is a slap in the face. but swallow it as if it is comfort. your first mistake, was raising those green eyes to the day. they are now searching for him. you wont find him. everything falls to you. wear it well. no ears, no words, no mind, no hands to press upon. so lie still. hold wounds. sigh at physical pain. and cry. cry tears from green eyes. just to complete the routine. cry. 

Jordan

constant passion,

instant regret,

a different world began,

 when our eyes first met.

love is cruel and love is kind.

and love is grand,

even in the traces left behind.

love can hurt, but love can heal.

so me and you, lets make a deal.

i promise not to hurt you.

i promise to be kind.

i promise you'll be the only one,

forever on my mind.

this, you can take and keep.

hold it dear.

as long as you promise me,

to love me back,

from year to year.

Imperfect

Beauty fades. I want to be loved for my imperfections. In a perfect world we would all love and embrace ourselves for who we are and how we were made. I want someone who thinks I am sexy in my pj's with no makeup on. I want someone who loves the flaws of my body as much or more than the things more near what "men" deem acceptable. They are me. I am imperfect. If I must be judged, judge me by my heart and soul, not the size of my bust. Judge me by the things I have done for others and what I have given of myself to improve the world. Not how much I do or do not fit society's unrealistic idea of a woman. Judge me by my sincerity, my kindness.  My faithfulness and what kind of person I am. Not how much my body differs from your twisted version of ideal. The beauty I hold comes from my heart, not my body. And if you don't love my imperfections, then you could never love me. I am imperfect. I want to be loved for my imperfections. THAT is real love

But I smile

I've done so well at being brave. So many people look at me, saying they're sorry. Waiting for me to break. But I smile. Just like always. Assure them I'm fine, and making it through the day. For a while I even had myself fooled into thinking that was true. I may not have stumbled, but I've never quit falling. Until tonight. I hit the ground. Nobody around. Starts with one tear. I don't want you to see me like this. This is the moment I can't stop. It had to happen, for me to be ok. Force myself to look at the memories. Hear the words over and over again. Those were some beautiful times. I refuse to believe they were my only happy times. Is it wrong for me to think sometimes that they could be? So I guess it's time,  better pick myself up and put that smile back on my face.