Change

Life certainly has a way of making you think, doesn't it? It can take everything you thought you knew, and everything you thought you believed and turn it all on it's side as if to say "hey you, you don't know anything!" Or, you know, at least not everything. It's been a hard lesson to learn for me, but in the end a good one.

I have decided that nothing in life is ever going to last forever, and that's not entirely a bad thing, either. The world we live in is constantly evolving- everything is constantly changing... including me. Change is one of those forces in this world that is completely unstoppable, that that's a good thing, since nothing was ever really meant to last forever. After all, you can't live forever... things would get incredibly boring!

The important question to ask is not whether or not things will change, but in what direction they're changing, and whether that's a good thing, a bad thing, or just something you'll need to adjust to but otherwise doesn't really have an impact one way or the other.  The clock ticks onward, time is always changing, and the very fabric of the universe is constantly adjusting itself to keep up.

I have been learning to live for today rather than to live in my concept of what the future needs to be based upon, or what the past has been. The world changes, and I need to learn to keep my finger on the pulse of how it's changing around me, and be true to myself in determining what changes I need to make in my own life to adjust for these changes. Day by day, little by little... nothing is static but more a constantly fluid motion into the future, with me coming along for the ride if I like it or not. it's a strong current, and while I can look ahead and see upstream and I can still remember things from the past I have to keep in mind that I can't go back there again, and worrying about what's around the next corner doesn't really do much good in my day-to-day life. I'm simply better off living in the present, enjoying the view of the shoreline of new memories as I pass by, adjusting to keep myself and my family safe in the moment... right now.

Planning ahead too far truly leads to disappointment. Even if good things happen, it can still be hard to recognize them as what I need in that moment because I'm too busy being disappointed because it's not what I want. Certainly, it's good to plan ahead for things, but with time being fluid and all, I may need to keep my plans fluid to adjust appropriately, rather than clinging to rigid beliefs and then holding on to those beliefs long past the time when the universe has proven they're simply not going to happen and hello Natasha... it's time to let go. And can I just tell you, I've spent wayyyy too much time clinging to beliefs that were no longer real, to the point that I'm now looking back at things in my life and wondering to myself, "What in the world was I thinking?!"

Letting go of expectations means that I recognize that what I have that is good as good, rather than not exactly what I wanted or had planned- and I can thoroughly enjoy living in the present moment. It's a lesson that I had to learn the hard way, and also one that I do not intend to forget.

Right now, in the present tense, my life is beautiful. I can't say that it's always been this way, or that it always will be. But for right now, I can recognize it for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Finally.