But I smile

I've done so well at being brave. So many people look at me, saying they're sorry. Waiting for me to break. But I smile. Just like always. Assure them I'm fine, and making it through the day. For a while I even had myself fooled into thinking that was true. I may not have stumbled, but I've never quit falling. Until tonight. I hit the ground. Nobody around. Starts with one tear. I don't want you to see me like this. This is the moment I can't stop. It had to happen, for me to be ok. Force myself to look at the memories. Hear the words over and over again. Those were some beautiful times. I refuse to believe they were my only happy times. Is it wrong for me to think sometimes that they could be? So I guess it's time,  better pick myself up and put that smile back on my face.